Irresistible
by sugarstar222
Summary: X-men and their cravings. Kurty and others. A touch of various character bashing. Enjoy! This is my first story so, please review. I'm fine with flames too. Disclaimer: I do not own anything created by Marvel as much as I wish I did .
1. Chapter 1

Her tongue delicately traced the opposing rosy surfaces.

Gently caressing the inside of her mouth and getting in between her teeth.

She loved the way they felt.

Somehow, there they were at the front of her lips.

It caused her to groan in pure delight.

And the taste, oh the taste! Fruit, mint and something else; something different, a flavor all on its own.

What was it that made it so enjoyable? Maybe the fact that she appreciated it most doing it in private. She wasn't sure what they'd think of it if they knew what she was doing. Sure, she knew it was wrong, but didn't care. It was just too strong of a love to stop.

She abruptly stopped. What if someone found out that she was doing it again? What would the Professer say? Probably something along the lines of, "Kitty, I know you're enjoying what your doing, but this needs to stop. It could end badly."Yeah, like she hadn't heard that before. Blah blah blah it'll end in pain. Blah blah nothing good will come of this. Pffft. Uh huh, sure.

Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by a certain blue someone.

"Keety!"

"Kurwt! What aw you dwoing hewre?! Haven't you evewr like heawd of knocking?!"

Kurt shrugged and continued, "Uh, sorry. But remember what the Professer said. This isn't healthy for you!

Kitty sighed and looked down, "I know, but it's just too twempting!"

"Vhat about Dan? Remember vhat he said last time he saw you doing this? Keety, it's time to end this."

Kitty looked down. "Nwo."

"Keety!!!"

"Fwine."

"Spit it out, Katzchen."

"But-"

"NOW!"

Kitty proceeded to take a large, pink, and very sticky ball of bubblegum out of her mouth.

"Wow! How did you fit zat much gum into your cheeks?"

"I kinda practiced it I guess. So, do you think that Dan will, like, forgive me at my next dental appointment?"

Kurt laughed. " I don't know. Zat vas a pretty serious crime you commited."

Kitty smiled and punched him.

"C'mon let's go down and get some dinner."

Meanwhile, Bobby, who had been listening through the door, misunderstood some of what Kitty had said and never knew about the gum.

"What's she doing? Not healthy?! Who's Dan and why is Kitty cheating on him?"

And so, Bobby spread the sort-of-news to everyone in the mansion and by dinner all the stories were different.

"Kitty's comitting crimes with a guy named Dan!", yelled Jamie.

"No, she's moving to Vegas to be a showgirl! And she's decided to marry Lance!", replied Roberto.

"Did you hear? Kitty's leaving the institute and learning to play the oboe with Tabitha.", said Jubilee.

Later at dinner

"Why is everyone looking at me like that?"

Sam decided to speak up. "Look Kitty, we know. You don't have to hide it from us anymore."

"Hide what?"

"That you're doing drugs, meeting with a secret boyfirend named Dan and going to Vegas to get hitched with Lance. We're here for you."

Kurt nearly fell out of his chair laughing, as Kitty phased through the table to get close enough to kill the, now very nervous, Canonball.

"WHO TOLD YOU THAT????!!!!!!"

All fingers pointed at Bobby and Kitty began to chase him around the table.

" All I was doing was chewing gum! Ten stinkin' pieces of gum!"

"Ten?" The professer looked sternly at Kitty. "KITTY!"

"BOBBY!" Kitty screeched.

"It was an accident!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU AN ACCIDENT!!!!"

What next, you ask?

Kurt laughed so hard he turned purple. Thus, he had to pay a visit to Hank in the medical lab.

Kitty threw various foods at Bobby and continued to beat him up. And so Bobby required a visit to the med lab to have peas removed from his ears.

Professer Xavier developed a migraine after watching the evening's various events and guess where he went. Wow, Hank was busy!

The rest of the new recruits decided to file out after that.

"Why did you have to set her off, Sam?!" grumbled Ray.

"Hey, it's not my fault!"

And obviously another arguement started.

Who was left?

Logan, Scott, and Jean sat at the table eating peacefully.

"Uh Logan?" asked Scott. "Shouldn't you stop them?"

"I've learned it's better not to get involved."

THE END


	2. Chapter 2

**Next in the irresistable series: Kurt! More pointless inspiration and sillyness.**

Kurt stepped out of the steamy bathroom and ran to his bedroom.

Immediatley, he realized that he needed it.

He started at the closet.

Kurt pawed through his clothes, tossing them around the room as he did so.

_Socks, undervear, jeans with ze hole in zem. Agh, not in here!_

Then, he moved to his dresser.

Kurt opened every drawer and began to dig.

_Let's see: hairbrush, homevork, books, tissue box, no no no and...YES!_

Kurt laughed. "Oh ja. I hid it in my tissue box."

Kurt took out the small black and white box and moved to the balcony.

_Ah. Finally._

He removed the contents of the package and inhaled deeply, causing him to cough violently.

Kurt sighed and stared out over the city.

"Kurt?"

The sudden voice caused him to stumble backwards and almost fall over the balcony's edge.

Kurt, having regained his balance, grinned and mimicked Kitty's voice. "Keety! What are you doing? Haven't you ever like heard of knocking?"

"Oops! I like keep forgetting to knock. Sor-hey! What are you holding behind your back?"

Kurt's agile fingers fumbled with the package. "N-nothing. Vhy?"

"Kurt, what is it? If you don't show me, I'll come over there and take it."

"Really, it's nothing." **(1)**

"Kurt! Give it!"

"Nien."

"Okay, then like show me your hands!"

And so, Kurt dropped the box and kicked it over the edge. However, Kitty just phased through and caught it.

"What's this?! Kurt how could you?! You're like so much better than this!"

"I couldn't help it! I get very stressed! **(2)**"

"But this?!"

"Vell-"

"I just like can't believe that you would take my _Essence of Midnight_ perfume!"

"Hey! Remember: stressed. And ze scent is very calming."

At this point, Kitty exploded with laughter and Kurt looked down at his feet.

"So, I guess you vant it back zen?"

"Kurt, there's like, two sprays left!"

"So, I can keep it?"

"Knock yourself out, Fuzzy."

_Score!_

"But I'm not buying more."

"Vhat?! But...but...vhy not?!"

"Because, I know you'll do it again! It's like asking to waste $30."

"Keety, I _promise _I vont! Please?!"

"Uh uh."

"Fine! Zen I'll go to store and buy more myself!"

"Kurt, one: you have like no money to buy it and I'm sure as heck not loaning you any. Two: It's sold in the LADIES department..." **(3)**

"So? I borrow some money and meet some girls along ze vay! It's a vin-vin situation!"

"Uh Kurt? That's kind of where the lingerie is sold."

"Lingerie?"

"Yeah, um, that would be the br-"

Suddenly, Kurt's girlish scream echoed through the mansion. **Actually, I think people heard it in china.**

"Are you done deafening like half the world?"

**Suddenly, Bobby burst in. Why? Because I'm the author and he had to come in sometime.**

"Kitty! Are you okay? I heard you scream from outside!"

At this, Kitty fell over, holding her sides from laughter, while Kurt blushed furiously, adding a purple tinge to his once blue cheeks. He lunged at Bobby, teleporting when he had a firm grip on his shoulders. In a few minutes he was back.

"Okay, what did you like do to him."

"He deserved it."

"Meh, fair enough."

"So, how do I get money for ze...cologne?"

"Perfume."

"Fine, but I'm calling it cologne!"

"Well, money won't be an issue. The line has been like discontinued. And, before you scream again, I know where you can get some."

"VHERE?????!!!!!!!"

"On iBay.**(4)** But, it'll cost you."

"Anyzhing! I'll do anyzhing!"

"Okay, come here."

Meanwhile, outside the mansion....

Bobby was found tied up by his ankles and hanging upside down in a tree.

"What did you say this time?" Roberto sarcastically asked.

Bobby tried to explain, but it came out as more of a "unf ful gug meh shpuh".

"Um, I think the blood has rushed to his head," concluded Jubilee.

Ray looked down at his sandel-clad foot, realizing that it was covered with Bobby's drool.

"Ya think?!"

A bit later, in the med lab, Bobby had finally gained the ability to speak (and no good can come of that) **(5)**.......

"Hey Sam **(6)**, I heard Kitty screaming and went up to her room. She and Kurt were out on the balcony and Kurt was shaking. He looked like he was suffering from withdrawl! And he had this little bottle in his hands...OH NO!

"You don't think..."

"Yes Sammy, yes I do. Kurt's started doing drugs!"

They both looked at each other and whipped out their cellphones.**(7)**

Even later....

"No, not Kurt..."

"Overdosing..."

"Hiding for years..."

"Yeah and he gets all sweaty and shaky...he's helpless without it"

And finally, dinner...

Everyone sat at the table chatting and munching on whatever Kitty hadn't helped cook. But all fell silent when Kurt came down. Why? Because Kurt was missing a large strip of hair/fur from his head. Some students snickered quietly, while other shook their heads, looking sorry for him.

"Okay, now before anyvone says anything, I want you to know zat I vas driven to extremes. I couldn't handle it anymore! I...

"Kurt?" asked Jamie, "look, we don't think any less of you. But why'd ya do it?"

"I needed the money to buy...something."

"Save it, Blue. We know," scowled Tabitha.

"Bu-who told you?!" his eyes darted towards Kitty, who held up her hands, shaking her head.

"Who else? Iceboy!" she jerked her thumb towards the corner of the room.

"Hey, that's IceMWAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kurt grabbed Bobby and shook him violently.

"You. Told. Them. That I use Kitty's _Essence of Midnight_ perfume?????!!!!!!"

"Perfume?! I thought you were doing drugs!"

"WHY ON EARTH WOULD I BE DOING DRUGS?!"

"YOU SAID YOU WERE STRESSED!!!!!!"

"HOW...wait so I..."

"Told us about your more feminine side for nothing, yeah Blue," Tabby answered for everyone.

"BOBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-note the next few scenes have been removed due to extreme violence, involving flying cutlery, twine, makeup, duck tape and a potted fern, named Dylan **(8)**-

A few hours later...

Bobby was back in the infirmary and let's just say that he didn't look good. He was scratched, bruised, bald **(9)**, wearing clown makeup and had leaves stuck to his body. He was mumbling something about not wanting warm applesauce....but no one knew that for sure.

Kurt was sitting enjoying a silent dinner in the dining hall. Finally, Tabby popped the question on everyone's minds.

"So, what happened to your fur?"

"Umm, I vent on iBay and sold it to some fangirl **(10)**." A faint "_squee"_ was heard in the distance. "Zen, I went and used ze money to buy mein perfu-cologne."

The rest of the students began to think.

"Hmm..."

"I need some money..."

"I wonder how much they'd pay for a lock of MY hair!"

"To the internet!!!!"

End

**Okay, I went way off topic there, but it was too much fun. **

**(1) How many of us have used that line?**

**(2) I don't blame him, exams are coming! GAH!**

**(3) Picture Kurt in the ladies department searching for "cologne"**

**(4) Not real, so don't search for it!**

**(5) That's what has been said about me....**

**(6) Why was Sam in the medbay, you ask? I-um HE broke his leg. Why? Because I like Sam and I wanted to be cast twins with him. Plus, Bobby would have been lonely. **

**(7) Sam, indulging in gossip? How could you?! BAD SAM! Oh..wait, I made him do that...**

**(8) That one is from my friend. Lot's of people have boyfriends, so she decided she would name a plant (Dylan) and make him her boyfriend. They broke up though. Poor Dylan...he had such nice leaves.**

**(9) Kurt used the remaining duck tape (from removing his hair) to...well you know...**

**(10) I'm sure lots of fangirls would have been VERY interested in buying some of Kurt's fur.**

**Man that was fun to write! Sorry for the long wait. I got busy. Next up Logan! Mwahahaha!!!!**

**Jess**


End file.
